Chapter 3 part 4

How do I put this…

“I think I can understand why he’d be jealous,” I murmured as we walked.

“Hm?” Holmes looked at me.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” I said, flustered. I couldn’t possibly tell him that his father was conflicted because he was jealous of his son.

“Aoi, would you like to get some coffee and drink it next to the temple?” Holmes asked, pointing at a hand-drawn sign that said “Homemade Coffee for Sale.”

“Oh, sure. That sounds nice.” I nodded.

Holmes got it black, while I had sugar and milk put in mine. We went to a quieter area away from the market and sat down on the temple stairs.

I drank my coffee and felt my cheeks loosen up. “It’s delicious.”

Holmes looked at me and asked in a soft voice, “Aoi, I think you’ve already saved up enough to go to Saitama. What will you do?”

I looked down at the milk coffee in my cup. The wind was blowing and I could hear the hustle and bustle of the handicraft market.

“To be honest, I hesitate when I think about going back. I was so sure that I’d go right away once I had the money, so it bothers me how wishy-washy I’m being.” I smiled in self-derision.

Holmes breathed a small sigh. “I understand how you feel. You don’t need to force yourself to go. Let it happen naturally.”

“Holmes…” He really is nice—wait a second. “I’m surprised you’d understand how I feel,” I said with a bit of a laugh.

Holmes smiled wryly and shrugged. “The truth is, it wasn’t only your keen eye that made me offer you the job.”

“Huh?”

“To be honest, I’ve gone through the same thing as you before.”

“H-Huh? What do you mean?”

“I’ve had my girlfriend taken from me, although it wasn’t by my best friend.”

“R-Really?” I can’t believe it! “Wh-When was this?”

Holmes paused before answering, “It was when I was in high school.” He sighed softly before beginning his story. “When third year had just begun, a classmate confessed her feelings to me and we began dating. We were a very normal couple and enjoyed spending time together. Since we were third-years, we’d study for entrance exams together too.

“However, I’ve always been surrounded by adults, and that’s never changed. They’d often tease me saying, ‘You’re not going to be able to focus on your studies when you have a girlfriend’—but not in her presence, of course. I didn’t take their comments seriously, but I did think they had a point. Since it was an important year in deciding our futures, I vowed not to let things go too far yet, for our own sakes. ‘Kiyotaka’ means ‘pure and noble,’ and thus was our relationship.”

“I-I see.” Was that last part about his name really necessary?

“In my mind, I thought that once we both got into university, we could move on to the next stage. Until then, it’d be best to prioritize our entrance exams.”

“That’s the right thing to do.”

“Indeed, but it’s not always about doing the right thing. Right after we got into university, my girlfriend accompanied her friend to a group date. There, she met a pushy, egotistical Osaka man, who immediately stole both her heart and body.”

“Wh-What?” I squeaked in disbelief at the sudden turn of events.

“According to her, I was too passive, making her feel lonely and uncertain. I’d been doing it for both of our sakes, but that hadn’t gotten across to her at all. I did realize that she wanted to go beyond kissing, but I hadn’t realized that she’d been harboring feelings of loneliness and uncertainty.

“The pushy, egotistical Osaka man found his way in through those insecurities and wound up stealing everything. I was so shocked, envious, and frustrated that I considered going to Mount Kurama and taking up priesthood.”

“M-Mount Kurama? Priesthood?!”

“And later on, I went a bit crazy and spent part of my university life doing the complete opposite of what a priest would.”

“Wh-What?”

“Well, let’s not talk about that. Anyway, because of my past, I know exactly how you feel, Aoi,” Holmes said with a smile.

I felt a tightening in my chest. I had no idea that Holmes had such an unpleasant past.

“You’re a normal person too, huh?” I said without thinking.

Holmes’s eyes widened, and then he chuckled. “What do you mean by that?”

“I-I mean, you’re such a genius. The owner is an amazing appraiser and the manager is an amazing author, but even they recognize your talent, right?” To the point where the manager was jealous of his own son.

“Aoi, did you read my father’s book?”

“Umm, about half of it.” I got stuck and couldn’t go further because the jumbled-up feelings of jealousy were too realistic.

“It might be a difficult read for you right now.”

As usual, he saw right through me.

“But hang in there. Please read it to the very end,” he continued.

“Huh?”

Holmes looked down and placed his hand on his chest. “Once you reach the end, your heart will be left with something beautiful beyond comparison.”

Something beautiful…

“When all of your emotions are laid bare and it’s too painful to do anything, the view you see when you finally look up again is a very beautiful sight. That’s what that book teaches. My father is truly a great author, if I may say so myself.”

Watching Holmes praise the manager with the most genuine of smiles made it difficult to breathe. “Holmes, do you know what the manager feels inside his heart?” I asked quietly. Since it’s Holmes, he might’ve seen through his father too.

“Hmm… I know that my father strongly admired my grandfather and dreamed of becoming an appraiser as well, but was discouraged by his lack of talent and gave up. He feels that I have the innate talent that he doesn’t and harbors something resembling jealousy towards me,” Holmes said without hesitation.

I was stunned. He knew everything all along! That’s Holmes for you.

“Oh, sorry, was that not what you were talking about?”

“N-No, that was it… How do you feel about it?” I felt awkward asking that.

Holmes looked conflicted. “How do I feel? I suppose I think he’s naïve,” he said flatly.

“N-Naïve?” I goggled at him.

“Yes. My father gave up on becoming an appraiser because he didn’t have the innate talent for it. What kind of talent do you need to become one? Perhaps I have keener eyes than the average person, but that doesn’t mean my grandfather does, and he’s the one my father admired.”

“Huh? Really?”

“Yes. When my grandfather was fifteen, he became an apprentice of a master appraiser who ran an antiques store. The master had many other apprentices too, and in order to be acknowledged among them, my grandfather studied as much as he could from him, training his mind’s eye. He worked so hard that he bled, and that’s how he became the nationally certified ‘Seiji Yagashira’ we see today.

“So, if my father wanted to become like my grandfather, he should’ve put the same amount of effort in—or more. Instead, he decided that he ‘didn’t have the talent’ and changed course. After completely forgetting about his dream of becoming an appraiser, he had me and was shocked to sense that talent in me.”

“O-Oh.”

“My father may think that I can easily perform appraisals because of the talent I was born with, but that’s not true. For certain reasons, I never went to kindergarten and instead accompanied my grandfather everywhere he went…”

I nodded, knowing why.

“Whenever my grandfather took me to work, he said, ‘You’re my assistant, so stand next to me and don’t get in the way.’ It may have been a silly thing to say to a young child, but those words meant a lot to me. I was the assistant of the acclaimed Seiji Yagashira. From a very young age, I was training hard to not embarrass myself in that position.

“Standing next to my grandfather, I’d look at the antiques and think about the differences between the genuine pieces and the counterfeits, the traits of each era, and what the counterfeits had in common. I’ve been studying for as long as I can remember.

“However, I still haven’t caught up to my grandfather, because at the same time, he’s also continuing to study and gain experience. It’s an endless world. You’ll never be done learning, and sometimes things will go against common knowledge. My father turned tail before even stepping foot into this world, which is why I can only think of him as naïve for being jealous of me,” Holmes declared.

I gulped, overwhelmed by his intensity. Holmes was right. It was naïve to be jealous when he hadn’t put in the blood, sweat, and tears.

“However, I do understand how he feels. So, as long as my father envies me, I have to aim higher.”

“Higher?”

“Yes. For example, if a high school baseball team loses to their rival in the regional tournament, they’ll want that team to keep going and win the national championship, right?”

“Oh, true.”

“I’m going to experience that in reality, too.”

“In reality?”

“Yes. I hear the girl who left me and that pushy, egotistical Osaka man are going to get married.”

“Wh-What?” That was another surprise. Who would’ve thought those two would make it that far?

“Them going that far actually makes me feel redeemed. If their bond is so strong that they’d reach the point of marriage, then it was inevitable that she’d leave me.”

“Th-That might be true.” Honestly.

“So, I think that when someone is jealous of you, you should work harder for their sake too. And in my father’s case, his envy and inferiority complex are what allow him to write masterpieces. He may not have realized it yet, but I believe that that’s his calling.”

“In that case, it was fate that he became an author despite wanting to be an appraiser.”

“That’s what I think. Besides, if you really want to become something, you’re not going to give up just because you ‘don’t have talent,’ right? I believe in the story of Zenna that we heard earlier: if you have a wish you truly want granted and you put in as much effort as a million prayers, it’ll surely come true,” Holmes said, looking up at the deep blue sky.

I felt my chest grow hot. A wish you truly want granted will come true with the effort of a million prayers… Now that I think about it, do I really want to see him that badly? Maybe I’m naïve too, just like the manager. I’m frustrated, but I won’t do anything about it.

I clenched my fists tightly in my lap. “Holmes, I think…I’m going to give up on going to Saitama.”

“Huh?” Holmes looked surprised—a rare sight. He must not have expected that.

“I-I mean, the train fare alone is tens of thousands of yen, right? I worked so hard for this money, and I don’t want to use it on that. M-Maybe I’ll go hiking in Mount Kurama instead, haha!”

Holmes smiled gently at my forced laughter. “I see. If you wait a little longer, the Eizan railway will have its best view of green maples.”

“Oh, is that so? I usually associate maple trees with fall, but I guess people enjoy looking at green leaves too.”

“Yes, it’s invigorating. I’ve been meaning to go again too. Would you like to go together?” Holmes peered into my face with a smile and my heart skipped a beat.

“Y-Yes. I was thinking it’d be lonely by myself, so I’d be happy if you came along.” O-Oh no, my voice is cracking.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“S-S-S-S-Same here.” My heart was beating a mile a minute.

“Shall we get lunch now?” Holmes said, standing up straight. I followed suit. “Aoi, what do you want to eat? There are a lot of restaurants around here, but most of them are rather loud.”

“Oh, I-I’m fine with anything.”

Our awkward conversation continued as we left Hyakumanben Chion-ji Temple on this June the fifteenth. Since it was a lull in the rainy season, the uncertainty in the sky felt like a reflection of my own heart.

--- [ End of Chapter ] ---